Mikolot Mayim Rabbim

Healthy people who think of death and dying often express a wish that if and when they will have to face their own looming death, that they would not want to be put through excessive, even hopeless medical intervention in order to “irrationally cling to life” while in intensive care. No, they say, when death comes, they would rather have it be a clean affair, to get over with quickly and painlessly. If and when they will be terminally ill, the would not want to go through “excessive” chemotherapy, nor remain endlessly on life support; they would want to die with dignity, rather than irrationally cling to life.

These reflections often result from suddenly coming face to face with human frailty and looming death, either because they visit a possible terminally ill patient, or because they have very recently discovered that they are affected by a grave illness.

Upon seeing a much weakened patient out of whose body several tubes and wire emerge, connected to advanced medical machinery, their fear of dying becomes so great, that they would rather be spared the effort to remain alive.

Many doctors would encourage such a person in “bravely” facing death. In fact, such is the role of palliative care doctors, to encourage patients facing their own looming death to let go.

And yet, when push came to shove, a palliative care doctor chose to pursue every hope for life (from the New York Times):

She preached the gentle gospel of her profession, persuading patients to confront their illnesses and get their affairs in order and, above all, ensuring that their last weeks were not spent in unbearable pain. She was convinced that her own experience as a cancer survivor — the disease was first diagnosed when she was 31 — made her perfect for the job.

In 2008, while on vacation in Boston, she went to an emergency room with a fever. The next day, as the doctors began to understand the extent of her underlying cancer, “they asked me if I wanted palliative care to come and see me.”

She angrily refused. She had been telling other people to let go. But faced with that thought herself, at the age of 40, she wanted to fight on. Read the rest of this entry »